doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
