Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
