vagina is talking i cant
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
