Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We are two peas in an std pod
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize