I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
