I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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