its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im holly from the hills drunk
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
