I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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