she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
