Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic

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(319): View more from Iowa

Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.

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(415): View more from California

what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance

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(678): View more from Georgia

My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?

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(519): View more from Ontario

I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you tipped EVERY employee at white castle

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(703): View more from Virginia

She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.

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(912): View more from Georgia

He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I party with great urgency now.

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