Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize