She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize