Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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