Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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