She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
this will be a night to untag.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
