I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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