Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
