She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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