Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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