so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
