i already hear my dad disowning me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
