well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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