real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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