we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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