I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
