I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
