My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
