Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
