dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
