I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
