She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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