hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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