Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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