Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize