We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
