I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
