Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I did not marry a roomba.
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