In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
