Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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