If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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