I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
