I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
