i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
