she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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