Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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