My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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