My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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