yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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