In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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