just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
