your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
