shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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