i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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