dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
