i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
