honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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