he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Can't talk, ducks in the car
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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